If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
