Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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