u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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