why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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