We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
