Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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