so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
it hurts more in the daytime
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
