Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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