theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i've created a new STD.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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