i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
