I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
