Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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