when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
