turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
