Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
