can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I currently don't understand fingers.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
