..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
