Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Randomize
