Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
