his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize