tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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