where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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