I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize