How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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