I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
