So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
