hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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