White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
