are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
