i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just pee around me
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
