Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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