Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I could fuck to npr.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Shame - the story of my life.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
