this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
