barbara walters just said penis...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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