Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
