sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
