she kept yelling 'call me bella'
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
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