In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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