Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
