she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize