Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The beers last night were like the tears from god
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
