i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
