Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I stole a fireplace last night.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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