just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
