So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
