What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Pants 0. Shit 1.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
