3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
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