matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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