no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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