alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
