FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
No...this little piggys going to the bar
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
