Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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