Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
