he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Randomize
