wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
