I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
