I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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