will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
