I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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