i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just forgot I was standing up.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
