Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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