I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize