No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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