And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
