Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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