On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
