dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Where is the hickey?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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