I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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