Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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