some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
