Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize