grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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