I wanna bring you to show and tell
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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