I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
